Our lives, our feelings, our emotions, our interactions, our relationships – EVERYTHING about us is many-faceted. Over time, some of those facets turn out to be facades, and that’s ok. Sometimes they weren’t always facades, sometimes they were true and metamorphosise – or even metastasise – into something other than what they were. Something doesn’t have to be a constant ground-truth to be helpful and useful, even a fantastic day-dream can be a mechanism of real positive change.
Who we are NOW is a direct product of who we WERE in all the moments up to NOW. At some level we have to accept that any retrospective change in the THEN – no matter how small – could have a much larger and unforeseen change in the composition of the NOW. Yes, we can look back with hindsight and project our BELIEF of what the NOW might be like if only we’d done X at time Y, or known something that at the time was UNKNOWABLE – but what we can’t do is resolve the many-branched tree of consequences and decisions that blossoms as a result of such a seemingly minor directional change at the root level – and that’s even without taking into consideration external forces that are ENTIRELY out of our control.
Our passage through life is a web of connections SO COMPLEX that it’s beyond our ability to comprehend. It’s only human to lament over what might have been and form other configurations of that web in our limited minds, but the REALITY is that there are many more ways for something to be DISORDERED than ORDERED. The entropic nature of the universe is the only ground-truth there is and the fact that there is ANY order at all should be seen as miraculous – as that’s what we are really, miraculous bags of particles that have happened to arrange themselves into a form of order that begets consciousness.
There’s beauty in both order and disorder, but the uniqueness of our own personal disorder only ENHANCES that beauty as it makes up the very CORE of who you are and WHY you’re different from all the other bags of ordered particles. It’s OK to mourn the order that could have been – it’s the very ability to even CONCEIVE that which makes us human – but we mustn’t forget to be thankful for the confluence of events that brought us into being, even if some were painful, for that’s who we TRULY are – the product of all that has been before. To change that path would be to change the very fundamentals of who YOU are. And who YOU are right now is a beautiful miracle.
Shout From The Void 